lately i've been trying to blog more regularly. considering i have an audience of exactly 3 not counting myself, it's sort of weird that i am. j, too, thinks it more than a little odd, and has been asking me what it is i am *doing* here. she's a writer, so is interested in the mechanisms of blogging as they differ from say, the mechanisms of journalling, or email, or writing for print publication. and i'm not sure what the answer to this is for me. it started as journalling, since i'm swifter on the keyboard than with a pen, and found myself more in front of the computer than sitting in a cafe or in my kitchen or wherever with my moleskine. it started as a personal thing, but i think it's becoming less that, now that i'm aware that people other than me (all 3 of you) might be reading. then i think i tried to model it more on the genre i had seen in other people's blogs - links to pertinent news stories, the odd rant about the state of the union, the putting-out-there of a certain political identity. but that didn't feel right either, or at least, i felt that was more contrived. in short, i was *thinking* too much about it. performing it too much.
now i'm approaching it more as a scrapbook that i don't have to worry about organizing. it's stuff i find in random moments of my day, things i'm thinking about, most often when i'm fooling around on the computer. it's a way for me to practice writing and showing up for it on a near-daily basis. and of course it's not everything. it's stuff that walks the line between the private and the public (the publate? the privlic?) because i can imagine that you three aren't reading this and it's just me and my keyboard and so be a little more honest. on the other hand, i can also shape my thoughts for public consumption; spend a little more time with my fingers over the keys, waiting for just the right word to come along. decide to post on things that i want you to know about me. omit the things i don't. i'm getting to like this space more and more. it's the foyer of my fixer-upper and i'm slowly redecorating, making it look more like me. and that feels good. so, come on in. make yourself at home. just don't look in the bedroom, and please excuse the mess.
a little more Josh Ritter - Man Burning
2 comments:
in the spirit of making myself at home...
it's interesting that you mention this, because there seems to be a rash of it going around - yours is the third blog (of the blogs i read) in as many days to ponder the question "why blog?" and further, to examine just how much they're comfortable with putting "out there".
it's an interesting phenomenon, and i think i've mentioned before why *i* blog. for me, it started as a way to keep in touch with people, but has grown into a repository for anything and everything i find curious/infuriating/inspiring. sometimes that is personal stuff, sometimes not. and the more readers i have, the more i feel compelled to put something out there on a nearly daily basis. it's not something i want to force, because then i think it becomes artificial - but i find if i just look, there's usually something lurking in the corner of my brain, waiting to be let out. is it always profound or exciting or even worthy of space? not always. but as an exercise it forces me to practice looking for those nuggets that *are* and writing about them in a way that's meaningful. now that i've been doing this a while, i love to look back through my older posts - it's a way of capturing a snapshot, searing it into memory, and making it real for others. at its best, that's pretty compelling.
i have three rules for myself: nothing i wouldn't want my grandfather to read, nothing about others without their consent, and no personally identifying information. and all that being said, i do have a more private "journal-like" blog for the stuff that's just too personal to put out there. no one wants to read about my pms or spats with my husband ;)
i'm glad you made yourself at home! can i get you something? coffee? tea? a wee tipple? :)
i was actually thinking a lot about your blog when i was writing this, and i know you've said some of this - probably a lot of it - there, and altogether more eloquently.
i like your rules of engagement. they work for me - and i think they work on yr blog, too.
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