jill told bill

one of the things i'm finding interesting about this blogging thing is that now that i'm coming out as a blogger to more people (yes, it's true, now there are 7 of you who know what i'm doing out here in the privacy of my own public broadcasting station), i feel more and more obliged to find something interesting, or at the very least, *meaningful*, to say. and trust me, this is no easy task for a person who spends much of her day looking at spreadsheets, or else procrastinating by following celebrity gossip, or reading interesting-to-me-only articles on health policy and research -- although the latter will undoubtedly provide fodder for future installments of this humble blog.

another thing i'm finding is that as i'm deciding who to come out to, so to speak, i'm also doing some kind of evaluation of my relationship with the people i'm telling. am i comfortable with this level of intimacy with such-and-such-a-person? will i feel judged or stupid if they're privy to my little forays out into the world? how much does this me i'm putting out here - which in weird ways is both more and less honest than the me i wear in individual face-to-face encounters - coincide with the me that each of you knows? and will blogger-me negatively impact your sense of who i am when we meet in person?

what i mean to say, maybe, is that we're all so multiple, and text is so deconstructable, that when we put ourselves out into the world, textwise, we risk allowing our own dismantling. and that can be pretty frightening.

i'm not entirely sure what i'm trying to get at here. except that i'm grateful to have a few people in the world that i feel safe around. and if i shouldn't feel safe, then please, whatever you do, don't tell me.

i'm kidding. sort of.

does this count as interesting?

and for my free-to-be friends - glad to have a friend like you