do you ever wake up with a diamond in your stomach? a glitterhard rock of worry that for just a moment - the time it takes to drink coffee, to take a shower, walk the dog - slices through everything, blindsides you, and leaves you shivering and speechless? and the crazy thing is that everything is the same as it was the second before the panic came down. nothing is different. except you. your insides. your mind has wandered off like a three-year-old in the mall, and your body is dragging behind - the frantic parent who looked away for a second. who forgot to be vigilant.
it's hard to explain, i suppose. the morning woke me up like that today. no easing in, no slow swim to consciousness. more like BAM, you're awake and here are all the things you NEED to worry about. NOW. and i've been up in it for a couple of hours, and it's starting to abate and things seem a little more manageable. and it's one foot in front of the other, exhale after inhale, and slowly things come back together. get focussed. how they fall apart in the first place, though... that's the kicker...
The Smiths - Panic
No comments:
Post a Comment