yesterday, someone's life changed, and not for the better. i'll skip the details but will say that it was a long time coming and telegraphed for years. it shouldn't have been a surprise but i'm sure it was. i will also say that if i were to have a least-favourite-people-in-the-world list, this person would be on it.
and yet... it's hard to celebrate karma in earnest, especially when karma is a bitch. will my life be better because of what happened? probably. but there is suffering at play, and suffering sucks, even when it's directed at your enemy.
it does make me think, though, of all the ways in which life changes on a dime. the ways we can be sailing blissfully along, unaware of the storms that could capsize us at any moment, unaware of the all the ways we are not in control of our own lives. the irony in this particular case is that the person in question is motivated almost solely by a near-rabid desire for control. karma really is a bitch.
and if that's the way she rolls, i'm sure to find myself shredding fingers, bone, and heart in pursuit of an aloof and contained lover. perhaps one day i'll wake to find myself stripped of all armour, emaciated for love, savouring crumbs of affection as if they were feasts. i can only hope.
david gray - falling free
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